Five Knocks
by csi cameron
Summary: Elsa's thoughts throughout Do You Want to Build a Snowman


Disclaimer: Frozen and the cast, lyrics, etc are property of Disney. The story is mine though.

The first time she heard them, they woke her up from a fitful slumber. Then came her sister's small, yet exuberant voice, "Elsa? Do you want to build a snowman?" Maybe the accident had all been a dream… more like a horrible nightmare. A groggy Elsa was still recovering from her nightmare when a sheen of ice spread over the doorknob. She quickly retracted her hand. It hadn't been a dream.

"Not today, Anna. I," she paused. What could she say? I don't want to kill you with my ice powers. No, that would most certainly terrify her and more importantly, defeat the purpose of the magic the trolls worked on her little sister. Elsa settled for a simple, "I'm not feeling well" with a desperate hope Anna would leave it be and not get their parents involved.

Luck wasn't on Elsa's side this morning. Five minutes hadn't passed before her mother and father raced in. "What's the matter, Elsa?" her father asked, worried her increasing powers were having a side effect on her.

Elsa merely shook her head. "It's nothing. Anna came to my door wanting to play and I didn't know what else to tell her."

Her parents looked at her sympathetically. They, too, were at a loss for how to deal with the girls' separation.

The sick excuse appeased Anna for a few weeks. Elsa had been quietly reading by the window, occasionally looking out at the snow longingly when the tell tale knock came. "Elsa?" Knock, knock, knock-knock knock. "Do you want to build a snowman? C'mon, let's go and play. I never see you anymore."

Of course she wanted to go out and play. It had been a month since the accident in the great hall and Elsa was still afraid of her powers. She missed Anna so much, but knew she couldn't put her in danger again.

Anna's pleas were too much for Elsa. They were too much of a reminder of the friendship she lost. She responded the only way she could think of, "Go away, Anna!"

A soft, "Ok, bye" and slow shuffling of feet down the hall answered back.

Moments later, Elsa heard her sister's voice out in the courtyard. She ventured a look out the window and a small smile appeared on her face as she saw Anna having fun, building a snowman by herself. Suddenly, frost spread from the windowsill to the glass and she jumped back startled.

That was the day gloves became an everyday aspect of her wardrobe.

The years went on like this. Anna would try to coax her sister out of her room while Elsa would try to drown out her sister's pleas.

The king and queen saw the toll it was having on their eldest daughter in addition to her trying to control her powers. They tried to explain Elsa needed her space and to incorporate Anna in their everyday duties to keep her away from Elsa's room. She learned to ride a bike; was introduced to fine art. But there were the occasional times, when Anna couldn't join the king or queen that she got a rebellious streak and would sneak to Elsa's door.

Knock, knock, knock-knock, knock. When Elsa wouldn't answer, Anna would wander the palace inevitably ending up at the gallery where she would talk to her only "friends".

It was usually the days when Elsa ignored Anna that her powers were the worse.

"Why doesn't she understand?" cried Elsa to herself. "I would give anything to be out there building a snowman or doing anything with her." Her frustration and sadness overtook her and there was a sudden drop in temperature as large tendrils of ice formed on the door and walls of her room. She happened to give a shriek right when her parents were walking by. They rushed in and tried to calm her, but she was inconsolable.

The despair of her parents was palpable.

Then there were the days Anna didn't knock. Elsa didn't know which were worse.

Elsa did venture out of her room once. Yet she regretted that decision as soon as she heard the news of her parents' deaths. She erroneously equated their deaths with her powers. "If only I had stayed in my room. Everyone was safer that way," she would tell herself.

A few days later there was a light rapping at her door. Knock, knock, knock. Elsa assumed it was one of the few servants coming to find her for her parents' funeral. She leaned against the door and almost answered when she heard Anna's voice.

"Elsa, please, I know you're in there."

"Please go away," Elsa thought. The next thing Anna said ripped through Elsa's heart.

"They say have courage and I'm trying to. I'm right out here for you, just let me in."

She should be the one comforting her sister, not the other way around. She knew her little sister needed her, but how could she let her in? Not in the state she was in. Not with her powers raging out of her control.

"We only have each other. It's just you and me. What are we going to do?"

Elsa's grief was too much to bear. Ice radiated out from under her and spread across the floor and walls up to the ceiling.

"Do you want to build a snowman?"

Snow fell and Elsa finally cried.


End file.
